My Apologies!

Hello again dear readers. Yes, all one or two of you!

My sincerest apologies for taking a months vacation without notice, but there have been a few things happening here that I did not plan on.

First was my heart-attack. It was a minor one, required no surgery, and only a 3 day hospital stay. I'm happy to report that you're stuck with me, for a few more years at least! Though the heart attack itself required no surgery, it did require a free shave (I will spare you the details of WHERE they shaved) and a catheter run from my groin to my heart so they could have a look-see around and decide if I was going to live or not (after seeing the bill, it could have gone either way), and some rather unappealing hospital food.

The end result, a grumpy, beer swilling white-boy with a groin that looks like it went 12 rounds with Mike Tyson and hosted a dance show by the Rockettes! Bruises where you NEVER want bruises!

Second thing that happened was my little town of Gaffney South Carolina played host to a spree/serial killer. Some red-neck that was paroled WAY too early decided to go on a nut and off 5 people in our sleepy little burg until he went up against a few of North Carolina's finest and exchanged gunfire. Long story short, he won't be getting his 40 years worth of death row appeals. So once again, The South has taken out the garbage!

Third thing to happen is the removal of a horse barn. It was about time to reclaim some land space, and the old barn had to go. So we've slowly been dismantling and tearing down the barn. Of course, we have to do it in the HEIGHT of summer, when it's the hottest you could possibly imagine. I swear I thought I saw Satan himself sitting in the shade, sipping on an iced tea and issuing instructions on which part of the wall we should tear down next. Or it could have been one of my neighbors. After a few dozen beers and a day of labor intensive work in the heat, they sort of look alike.

But I am proud to say that I am back, I will continue to hound Obama, and I will do my best to get back to pissing liberals off and totally alienating entire groups of people when ever I possibly can.

And now, back to our show!